Winter Diffidence
by Aeneid
Summary: Before Hidan joined the Akatsuki, he was just an ordinary shinobi. My take on how Hidan turned his back on his village to follow his own destiny and finally becoming an Akatsuki member. [HidanxTsunami]
1. Chapter 1

Yes, you are probably wondering right now why the heck I had chosen to write a fic about a very weird pairing, namely Hidan and Tsunami (for those who can't remember her, she's Inari's mother, and she appeared in the Wave Country arc.). I have my reasons, and one of them is to write a story on how Hidan became an Akatsuki member. This story is Part I of the Trilogy that I plan to make AND finish as well.

Don't judge this story just because of the pairing. Judge it for the plot. Doumo!

_This story takes place nine years before the Naruto timeline. Tsunami is aged twenty by this time, and I estimate Hidan's age to be around twenty-two years old._

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. It belongs to Kishimoto Masashi. I only own the ANBUs with the codenames _Tori, Ushi and Nezumi._

* * *

**Winter Diffidence**

_When will this rain ever stop?_

Tsunami almost slapped herself.

Stupid question, seriously.

How can the rain ever stop in _Amegakure no Sato_ anyway? Everyone, from all over the world, had dubbed the said village 'The Land of Eternal Rain', all because of one reason: the rain never stops pouring. It was as simple as that; no exceptions as well.

And that is also the reason why Tsunami had wanted to slap herself.

It all started early that morning, when she had received a message from the Amegakure High Council that her father, a well-known bridge maker in Nami no Kuni, had fallen ill. In the message, it was stated that Tazuna had caught a cold, something that he had ignored during his three-day stay in Amegakure. He was much too engrossed in a project that involved building a hanging bridge that will connect Amegakure no Sato to a mountain leading to the Ame no Kuni's mainland to even care about his condition.

It was a bad decision on his part.

The cold turned into pneumonia, and the fifty-one year old bridge maker had to stay temporarily in the village until he felt better enough to travel back to _Nami no Kuni_, as the medic nins in the village had advised him and the High Council.

And so Tsunami, as fast as she could, began to pack all the essentials she need that would last a week or so when she goes to Amegakure. However, for the love of Kami-sama, the most important thing she needed was the one she had forgotten to bring along.

An umbrella.

How stupid of her to forget.

So right now, she was currently sitting under a tree, trying hard not to shiver from the cold winter breeze that had passed by. The letter sent to her by the Amegakure High Council served as her gate pass to the village, and to her disbelief, the young woman of twenty years had left the said letter back in her house.

Now she had to wait for someone, anyone, to notice her, pity her probably, and take her in.

Several minutes later, her wish came true in the form of four masked men who had a very bulky, yet muscular build, startling her quite a bit.

_Is that what they call an… ANBU? _She asked herself, mesmerized at the four men before her.

"_Anata wa Tazuna no musume ka?_" he has asked her if she was Tazuna the bridge maker's daughter, and she nodded in reply.

"W-what is it?" she asked.

"Please come with us. Tazuna-san is expecting you." Another one told her, in a much kinder voice. Tsunami assumed he was a _kohai_ compared to the first one, for he sounded a bit… meek.

"A-alright then." She stood up from her sitting position, dusted the black shorts she wore and sighed. "Thank you for going through the trouble of fetching me here…"

One ANBU had rolled his eyes underneath the mask. "You've just given us more trouble than ever, Tazuna's daughter." He said, opening up an umbrella to shade her from the pouring rain. "We've just gone through hell and back for you, woman." He scowled.

The only female in the group gave out a puzzled look, and the _kohai_ in the ANBU Squad was the one who spoke up to inform her of what had happened earlier. "Well, _sempai_ meant that you scared the hell out of us when we didn't find you in your house in Nami no Kuni… we all thought something bad had happened to you— OWW! _Gomen nasai, Nezumi-sempai!!!_"

The first ANBU who had spoken first to Tsunami grunted. "_Tori_, keep your mouth shut." _Nezumi_ hissed, all the while cracking his knuckles for added effect. "She does not need to know such information."

"H-hai…" _Tori _replied quietly.

"Both of them had meant to say that you're just a stupid woman who does not even know how to read and understand what the hell was written on the paper sent to you by the Amegakure High Council." The last ANBU, wearing a dog mask, tossed a paper ball at the direction of the girl. It was evident that he was very pissed as well. "CAN YOU NOT EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT AN ANBU SQUAD WILL BE THE ONE TO PICK YOU UP FROM NAMI NO KUNI!?"

Tsunami bent down to get the paper ball from the ground and began to read. " 'Please stay in your house as soon as you are ready… an ANBU Squad composed of four members will be the ones to pick you up…' " at once, she turned red from embarrassment.

The three ANBUs stiffened suddenly. It was on such a rare occasion that their ANBU Captain would get angry over such a small matter, and it was even rarer that he cared too much over a mission. Both _Tori_ and _Nezumi_ wondered what made him so worked up over a simple mission…

"_W-wakarimasen…_" at this, the ANBU holding the umbrella almost slapped himself in the forehead. _Was she THAT stupid?! Ushi_ asked himself.

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, LADY: THE AMEGAKURE HIGH COUNCIL JUST THREATENED TO HAVE MY HIDE IF THEY SEE ANY SIGN OF INJURIES ON YOU!!! DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU WHILE I'M ON DUTY?!"

"Uh… you'll lose your job, _taichou…?_" Tsunami asked, enjoying the banter between them. She knew all of that shinobi stuff, all thanks to her father, who was kind enough to give her knowledge about nins; she just wanted to irritate this man by acting stupid.

"HELL YES I WILL!!!"

_Oh. So that's why…_ the three ANBUs thought at the same time.

'_What a grouchy old fart.' _Tsunami almost grinned in reply, but stopped herself from doing such. "Ah. _Wakarimashita._"

Despite feeling the urge to whack the woman on the head for being such a dumb ass, the man resisted the urge to do so. "Can we get going now? I hate the rain." The ANBU Captain wearing the dog mask demanded as he began walking ahead of the others.

"_Inu-sempai_, _chotto matte kudasai naaaa!!!_" _Tori _chased after the silver-haired man, while the two remaining ANBUs stayed by her side, _Ushi_ holding the umbrella for her and _Nezumi_ carrying all of the stuff she had with her.

"For a woman, you sure pack light." _Nezumi_ remarked. Tsunami did not know whether it was a compliment or an insult. She chose the former instead.

"Thanks… I think."

"He meant it as a compliment, Tazuna-san's daughter." _Ushi_ said right away. He knew what happens if a woman gets angry… all hell breaks loose, literally.

Tsunami resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "If you say so, ANBU-san, and please, stop referring to me as 'Tazuna's daughter'. I have a name, you know." At this, the two ANBUs shot her a questioning look. "I'm Tsunami."

"Call me _Nezumi_." Rat.

"_Tori._" Came the prompt reply. Bird.

'_Oh, so they really use codenames, huh…'_ "I see." She nodded.

"We can't give you our real names; after all, we are currently on a mission to 'bring Tazuna's daughter to Amegakure no Sato'."

Finally, Tazuna's only daughter gave in to the urge to roll her eyes heavenward.

* * *

"WHAT?!" 

The said statement was the sentiment echoed by the four male ANBUs as soon as the Amegakure High Council told them what their next mission would be. During this time, the Council had asked Tsunami to leave the conference room and wait outside by the lobby. Tazuna's only daughter readily obliged with the request and as soon she was out of earshot, the mission briefing began…

"And why is that mission a Class C ranked mission?" the ANBU Captain asked through gritted teeth.

One of the Ten Councilmen spoke up for all of them. "Tazuna's daughter, though she may not look like it, is an easy prey for nukenins who wander about in Ame no Kuni. Do remember, _Inu_, that her father is an expert bridge maker, and that Gatou person from Nami no Kuni is out to get both father and daughter. You DID read the report about them, have you not?"

_Inu_ nodded briskly. Of course he had read it. Why wouldn't he?

"Gatou is out to get them, with Tazuna now involved in that bridge project that will be connecting Nami no Kuni to the mainland. It is our duty to protect them, for both are now standing on Amegakure soil. _Inu,_ you are now in-charge of protecting Tsunami during her whole stay in the village."

The ANBU Captain's purple left eye twitched underneath the mask he wore. How the hell did he get stuck babysitting with some prissy damsel-in-distress!? HOW!? He was very religious; he did what was told of him by his god, Jashin, and this is what he gets after being thoroughly faithful?!

_THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT MY DAY!!!_

"Understood. And the others?" _Keep your emotions in check… _he reminded himself.

"Rotation. _Ushi_ will be assigned to accompany her every morning, while _Tori_ will be in-charge in the afternoon. At night, if she needs to go somewhere, _Nezumi_ shall take over _Tori_."

"Wait, if they're the ones assigned to protect her, why am I still involved in this mission?" the silver-haired ANBU asked.

"You are to keep an eye on her round the clock. No excuses."

_Inu_ sighed in resignation.

No use arguing anymore.

* * *

After meeting the Amegakure High Council for a brief discussion about her father's health, Tsunami, along with the four ANBUs that had fetched her early that day, headed for the apartment provided by the council during the father and daughter's stay in the village. As soon as she entered the studio-type apartment, she frowned at her father, Tazuna, who was sitting by the dining table, drinking a cup of hot tea, instead of resting in his own bed. 

"_Otou-san, _keep ignoring the medic nins' advice, and we'll be staying here for a month." She huffed, crossing her arms across her chest. For added effects, the young lady glared at her father. "Go back to bed and rest."

"I've been resting quite enough, Tsunami." Tazuna assured her quickly. "As for you, young lady, go now and take a warm bath. No doubt, after standing in the rain for too long, you'll catch a cold."

"I'm fine." The woman in her early twenties muttered under her breath, cursing her father discreetly for being such a hard-headed old man. "You don't have to tell me what to do; I'm old enough to know my priorities."

Tazuna nodded. "Yes, I know that, but what about THAT priority that you had promised to me just a week ago?"

To the amusement of the four male bystanders in the room, the bridge-maker's daughter began blushing faintly. "Yes, yes… I know that. You don't have to remind me, _otou-san_." She hissed, putting emphasis on the very last word.

As if to add more insult to injury, the oldest man in the room suddenly announced, "Is there any one of you willing to marry my daughter, Tsunami?"

_Tori _raised his left hand immediately. "_Ore da, Tazuna-san!!!_" he volunteered, and got a punch straight in the face, rather, in the mask, by his superior, particularly a dog-masked ANBU.

"_Baka._ What the hell are you thinking?!"

"_D-demo,_ we're done with this mission, right? _Tsunami-san_ has been escorted safely; that means, no more of those protector-protected relationships, _taichou! _She and I are free to get married!!!"

Tsunami was aghast; was this man really serious!? "W-what the hell are you saying!?"

It all happened too fast: _Tori_ had grabbed both of the young woman's hands before Tsunami could even _blink_ for that matter. "Will you marry me? I fell in love with you at first sight!" the youngest ANBU in the squad confessed loud enough for everyone to hear in the apartment. "Please, Tsunami-san?"

It only took a poker-faced expression and two words to discourage the overenthusiastic ANBU. "Not interested."

_Tori _was crying his heart out when he left the compound, while the two other members could only sigh in disbelief, wondering what kind of jutsu the _Nami no Kuni onna _had used against their _kohai_.

And their _taichou_?

Well, let's just say he wasn't VERY happy with what had happened. In fact, he had to drag the woman away from her apartment just so he could have a 'proper' talk with her.

"What is it now, _taichou_?"

The dog-masked ANBU turned to face her. "What the hell have you done with _Tori,_ woman?!"

Tsunami wasn't intimidated at the very least; in fact, she got angry. "Would you at least remove your mask while talking to me, _taichou_? I want to see the face of the person whom I am talking to, not some dog-faced ANBU." She demanded. "You are done with the mission, correct? At least show your face to me."

The ANBU sighed exasperatedly and proceeded to remove his mask…

_You must give in to this brat's request, Hidan, or else, she won't stop pestering you!_

What happened next almost made Tsunami faint.

HOW CAN SOMEONE SO RUDE LIKE THE DEVIL HIMSELF LOOK SO ANGELIC AT THE SAME TIME?!

The person underneath the mask, though she hated to admit it, was very much handsome. He was very much pale, as if he didn't have enough dose of Vitamin D during his childhood, and his eyes, especially the color of it, were something that intimidated her. A dark shade of purple… the perfect color of eyes for murderers; she tried hard not to shudder in fear.

"Tch. Stop staring. First and foremost, it is rude, plus, it is annoying..." The young man with silver hair glared at her direction. Purple-colored iris met black-colored ones, and still, even if she told herself to look away, she couldn't. Her traitorous eyes kept wandering about his lean frame, telling herself to remember all of the details before he would vanish within her line of sight…

"HEY! STOP STARING!"

This jolted her back to reality. "I was not staring!"

"Oh, you were, you little witch." He spat out bitterly.

"I HAVE A NAME, DAMN YOU!!! TSUNAMI!!! TSU-NA-MI!!!" she screeched every syllable. "GOT THAT!?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever. Just stay away from my squad, and we'll get along nicely." With that, the ANBU Captain walked off, leaving her to glare and leer at his retreating figure. As much as she wanted to stab him with her spare kunai tucked in her shoes, she restrained herself from doing so. This man was an ANBU; he would overpower her.

In the end, she decided to observe him from afar, instead of hurting him.

Maybe, by some twist of fate, _taichou_ was really a nice guy…

… She thought wrong.

That cocky son-of-a-beach was the most arrogant man she had ever come across with!

* * *

And chapter one is complete! Comments, suggestions and constructive criticisms are welcomed. Flames are to be used for Katon purposes. I hope the readers have enjoyed this fic! 

Extra notes: I have chosen Amegakure no Sato as Hidan's home village (in this fic alone; in the manga, it is still not confirmed as to where he is originally from) because I have based the said village's reputation during Naruto's genin days. Go check out Wikipedia for more info on this matter; you'll get what I mean. XD


	2. Chapter 2: Art of Stalking

Sorry for the late updates. Summer is finally here, so more time for updates! Yaay!

More Hidan/Tsunami pairing for this chapter. XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto/Naruto: Shippuden. It belongs to its respective owners. I only own the plot and the ANBUs for this fanfiction.

* * *

Chapter 2: Art of Stalking

She officially hated him now.

Cautiously, Tsunami looked over her shoulder in search of any silver-haired man trying to blend in with the crowd. For the past three days, the ANBU Captain had been following her like a vulture to its prey, something that really annoyed her. Having forced to spend time with _Ushi, Tori and Nezumi_ was bad enough; the two ANBUs acted like an overprotective brother towards a younger sister, while in _Tori_'s case, he acted like a boyfriend. Whenever the young girl was with _Tori_, the ANBU _kohai_ could not seem to prevent himself from placing an arm either around her shoulders or her waist. It took a rusty kunai to stop him from doing such a thing ever again.

Kami-sama, why the heck were they doing such?!

Didn't THEY know that she was very much capable of protecting herself without THEIR help?!

Heck, she could probably take on a Jounin or two!

Not that she was bragging or anything…

"You alright, Tsunami-san?" _Ushi_ asked her, once he noticed that she was starting to space out. For this mission, the Council had given them special permission to don on civilian clothes, instead of the usual ANBU outfits. Also, under an oath of secrecy, Tsunami had to vow that she will never tell anyone the secret identities of her 'bodyguards'. With that done, three of the four members told her their names.

_Ushi_ was named Suzuki Hitoshi, a twenty-one year old nin. Like his codename, he had dark-colored hair tied in a low pony-tail, while his eyes were a dark brown. Because he had lived in Amegakure his whole life, his skin color was like the color of milk, or even paler. The lack of sun in his home village had deprived him of Vitamin D, just like his _taichou._ Compared to Tsunami, he was like a tower, for he stood at five feet, nine inches, in contrast to the young woman's height at five feet, one inch. For this day, Hitoshi had worn a light blue _hakama_ and _gi_, complete with split-toe socks and hand-weaved slippers that gave him samurai look and feel in him.

_Nezumi_, aged twenty, was slightly darker than Ushi, but still belonged in Tsunami's pale category. His hair color bordered from silver to grey, yet it did not make him look like an old man. In fact, he looked very much like a bishounen. His hair was gelled up so that his long bangs would not get in the way of his eyesight. His eyes were a sapphire blue shade that reminded Tsunami of blue skies that were visible during a sunny, sunny day in Nami no Kuni. Aside from all of these qualities, _Nezumi_ belonged to one of the most prestigious clans in Amegakure, particularly the Mizuhara clan. The current patriarch of the clan was part of the Amegakure High Council, who was also _Nezumi_'s grandfather. The ANBU's full name was Mizuhara Tetsu.

_Tori_ went by the name of Aizawa Katsumaru, though he had preferred to be called Katsu instead by his squad members and Tsunami. The youngest among the four, for he was only eighteen years old, he had reddish-brown hair and bright green eyes that always lit up whenever the young woman of twenty-years was within Katsu's field of vision. Among the four, yet again, he was the shortest, standing at only five feet, four inches, and the skinniest as well, compared to Tetsu, Hitoshi and their ANBU Captain, who had a muscular build befitting an ANBU. Nevertheless, what Katsu had lacked in physique, he made it up for his speed. He was the 'assassin' in their group, the one always tasked to kill all their enemies, for he was up to the task of doing such anyway. Outside of battle, he was the opposite of a cold-blooded murderer, and Tsunami wondered if he was a schizophrenic person…

As for the ANBU Captain, he had refused to give his name to Tsunami and walked off without even saying a word.

Oh how she wanted to stab him at the back with her rusty kunai…!

"Uh, hai. I was just thinking… sorry for making you worry, Hitoshi-san." She gave out a sigh in response as well.

"Tsunami-san, I hope you're not planning to kill _taichou…_" Hitoshi remarked. "He is just doing his job…"

"Stalking me, you mean?" Tsunami growled. "What the hell is his problem? I am not a kid, damn it! I am perfectly capable of protecting myself, as well as the fact that I am—" at once, she held her tongue. She had almost said it! Damn her if she had continued that statement; no one should ever know of it…

No one.

Not even her father.

Hitoshi raised an eyebrow, as if telling her to continue with what she was just saying, and the raven-haired lady obliged. "I mean, the fact that I am Tazuna's daughter means that I can take care of myself!" she pumped her arms enthusiastically.

"Right. Whatever." Hitoshi rolled his eyes in disbelief. "You're just a girl; in this village, our women do nothing except become housewives. All women who strive to become Jounins are not encouraged to take such a path, for their role, as dictated by the Council, should be at home, not in the battle field."

Tsunami rolled her eyes. Was Amegakure really THAT old-fashioned? "Oh, come on. That was twenty years ago, for crying out loud!" she screamed. "If you think I'm some damsel-in-distress, think again, Hitoshi-san! I'll make you eat those words." She smirked.

"Is that a challenge?" before Hitoshi could even realize what he was going in to, a swift punch was delivered at his gut. Despite him having a rather muscular build and being an ANBU, _Ushi_ still managed to wince in pain and fall down on one knee. The wind really got knocked out of him, all because of a punch. _'That woman… is no ordinary person! H-how can she…?!' _his train of thought vanished as soon as he saw Tsunami run like mad away from him, ignoring the harsh rainy weather conditions. "TSUNAMI-SAN!!!"

Hitoshi slapped a handful of ryo at the table and tried to run as fast as he could without faltering. It was difficult; her strength was at least a third or so of his _taichou_'s strength, and what more if she was just as strong as the _taichou_? Surely, he would be lying on the ground right now, probably dozing off.

She ran very fast, but the ANBU knew he was faster.

He picked up the pace and ran with all his might…

The game of tag stopped as soon as the woman ran inside the nearest public restroom for women just near the steak house in the village.

_DAMN HER!!!  
_

* * *

The Nami no Kuni native breathed out a sigh of relief as she tiptoed over the window to take a good look at her 'bodyguard'. Hitoshi looked like he had been deprived of a year's worth of salary, and Tsunami covered her mouth to hide her snickering, just in case a lady would look at her weirdly. The bathroom was currently full, with five people, including her, occupying the said area. There were three stalls in the bathroom, and all three were currently occupied. The fourth woman in the room, on the other hand, was busy placing clips on the sides of her hair.

"What do you think? Will Hidan-sama notice me now?" she asked a blonde girl who had just emerged from the cubicle.

_Hidan-sama…?_

The blonde shook her head. "You know very well he is not interested in women, for some odd reason. His mother is forcing him to get married as soon as possible, but ironically, she rejects the women whom he had introduced to her. You're one of them."

The girl with hairclips gave out a nervous laugh. "Uh… right. Fine, so I'm one of them. But still, that doesn't mean there is no chance of us getting back together!"

Tsunami rolled her eyes discreetly, taking her eyes away from Hitoshi as she went towards the mirror to fix her hair, since it had gotten messed up from all the running earlier.. _Typical village women… _she told herself, thanking her own luck that she wasn't like them who had a mentality of getting a husband as soon as possible to help the population increase its number.

She was so busy fixing her hair that she failed to notice the shrieks from all the remaining girls in the bathroom…

Her mind only went back to Earth when she had seen the ANBU _taichou_'s reflection in the mirror in front of her.

The raven-haired young woman was very much ready to bolt out of the bathroom when the man placed both his hands on the counter, effectively trapping her between his arms. "Running away, woman? Not a smart move."

She opened her mouth to speak, but someone was kind enough to do it for her. Particularly the ones wearing that hideous flower hair clips. "Hidaaaaaan-sama, what do you think you're doing in the women's comfort room?!" she demanded angrily.

The man named Hidan snorted in reply. "Simple: I'm here to talk to this woman." He gestured at the woman in between his arms. "Get out. I'm out on an official business."

Still fuming, the leader of the clique stomped out of the comfort room along with her cohorts, and that left the pair.

Alone.

In the bathroom.

WHAT WAS HE PLANNING?!

"You just gave Suzuki a hard time, you foolish woman." He hissed.

"He let his guard down." She argued. "Aren't ANBUs supposed to be 'alert' for any possible sneak attacks, _taichou_?" she added sarcastically, and if it weren't for her gender, Hidan would've strangled her to death.

Outside, the four women driven out of the bathroom earlier were fuming. How dare the ANBU Captain make them leave just when they were ready to talk about the latest gossips in the village! For them, Amegakure was a sleepy village, and the only thing that made these four girls' lives fruitful were to gossip about other people's lives.

"How dare Hidan-sama send me away!" the hair clip girl said, her fist shaking with visible anger.

"Forget about that! What was he doing in the bathroom with that stranger anyway!?" one of her friends asked. Seconds later, she gasped. "Are they…?!"

"WHAT?!" the three chorused.

She took a deep breath before saying, "DATING?!"

Silence…

Then…

Laughter.

"That is impossible! Hidan-sama, falling for a plain-looking girl like her?!" the leader of the clique started laughing hysterically. "I doubt it!"

"That is not the point! Why the hell did you run away!?" came the barking voice of the _taichou_.

"…Okay, now I don't doubt it. I mean, that's, like, one hell of a lovers' quarrel." the blonde girl from earlier remarked. "I've never heard him shout like that."

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE CHOKING ME WITH ALL THOSE DAMN RULES!!!"

The four women gasped and pressed their ears against the bathroom door. They might just hear something… 'interesting'.

* * *

Hidan was currently pissed. This has never happened to him before, mind you, for he was constantly reminded by his dear mother to always respect women. His mother was a hardcore feminist, for in the society she grew up in, women were considered as 'weak', 'stupid' and 'mere baby-makers'. Thankfully, she had managed to get married to a liberal-minded nin, who had been very much supportive of his wife's 'antics' to empower women in Amegakure society. Through their union, they had a son, whom they have raised to become the perfect gentleman when it comes to women.

However, the ANBU Captain doubted if he still had any ounce of respect left for this woman before him…

"What the Council is doing is for your own good, lady." He told her through gritted teeth.

Tsunami scowled. "What does the Council know about me anyway? Nothing." she said. "They have no idea what I am capable of." _Capable of slicing your limbs off your torso, taichou! _She thought homicidally.

"The hell we don't know what you're capable of! You can't even follow simple instructions, woman!" at this, the young woman blushed in embarrassment, and the silver-haired nin chose to ignore this. "Do explain yourself with this inborn 'stupidity' of yours." He added sarcastically.

At this, the Tidal Wave sighed in resignation. No use if she argued against this thick-headed brute who calls himself an 'ANBU taichou'. Heck, he wasn't even up to par with Momochi Zabusa, and he was only an ANBU member, not a _taichou_! Zabusa was much better in all aspects compared to this perverted idiot who had barged inside the girls' public toilet like he owned the place…

Damn, why did she remember Zabusa all of a sudden again?

"I am not stupid, _taichou_." She said quietly, pushing aside thoughts of the _Kirigakure no Kijin_ out of her head. "I was frantic when I learned that my father got sick; do you think I can even finish reading the letter without going into panic mode?!" she screeched, causing the Ame nin to wince from the shrillness of her voice. "WELL!?"

"STOP SCREAMING, I CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE!!!" Hidan yelled back.

To his surprise, she nodded in agreement. "Alright then; now release your hands from my sides so I can move away from you."

He removed his hands from the edge of the sink, and Tsunami quickly moved away, ready to leave the bathroom when he asked. "Am I that repulsive, woman?"

"Somewhat. No man ever had the guts to get this too close to me." She informed him as she bent down to retrieve the rusty kunai she had safely tucked inside her ninja shoes. "Get too cozy with me, _taichou,_ I won't hesitate to stab you with my kunai." To show that she was very much serious with her threat, the black-haired woman aimed the said weapon at the male nin before her.

"Fine, fine; no need to aim the weapon to prove your point." The ANBU extended his right hand towards her. "Truce?"

This seemed to have satisfied the young woman, and as soon as she had safely tucked her weapon away, she began to walk towards the captain for the agreement…

…until disaster struck.

No thanks to the rain, the tiles became slippery, and before Tsunami knew it, she had stumbled forward, just when she was nearing Hidan. She was supposed to hit the wet, cold ground, if it wasn't for Hidan's quick reflexes. He had caught her in his arms, but got hurt in the process. The Captain had skid backwards because of the slippery floor, hitting his head hard against the wall. The good thing was, his female companion had managed to avoid getting hurt.

The bad part was that the back of his head hurt like hell.

Tsunami, on the other hand, almost shuddered in fear when she heard the sound of the captain's skull bang loudly against the wall. She looked over to see how he was doing, and almost gasped when she saw him grimacing in pain. "_T-taichou! _Are you alright!?"

All she got was a groan in return. "I-itte…" Panicking, she tried to stand up just so he would be able to get up and nurse himself, only to fail at it and slump back against the _ANBU taichou_'s hard chest. He groaned back in reply.

Outside, the four women spying on the two by means of trying to hear snippets of the couple's conversation gasped in shock. What were the two doing inside the bathroom?! Were they THAT desperate to find some place to release their need to… procreate!?

"A-ah! T-taichou, w-w-we need to finish this now. I feel really uncomfortable." Came a woman's voice. All four recognized it as the woman who was left in the bathroom all alone with their Hidan-sama.

"W-wait, I'm not done yet. This damn place is so cramp, it makes my mood foul!"

Inside, Tsunami blushed. "Anou... gomen. I'm just not used to this... Is everything supposed to be wet right now?" she was referring to the floor, of course, but the four women had thought it was… something else.

In their minds, they all screamed.

However, their screaming was too early. The next statement almost sent them to a seizure.

"Don't worry... you'll get used to it. At the start... everything seems wet as you phrase it. But it gets better..."

Unfortunately, one of the four girls had nosebleed in shock from the words.

Another sound… it seems that one of the couple has slipped and moaned. "Damn it…" said the female's voice. "Why do you have to be so damn hard anyway?!" she screeched.

Hidan smirked and said, "I can't help it. Besides... with me being an ANBU and all… I have lots of experience."

At once, the three remaining girls began hyperventilating. Their Hidan-sama was… experienced!? How?! When?! Why!?

"Men and their insufferable ego..." came the last ever reply, before the two resumed their, ahem, deed.

"THIS MUST STOP!!!" screeched the leader of the clique, though only loud enough for the remaining members to hear her. The one who had nosebleed was currently unconscious, and the others have gathered around to fan her. "T-that woman is raping Hidan-sama!"

"W-what can we do!? The door is locked! We can't even kick it open!"

"WE CALL THE ANBU!"

* * *

After a few minutes of struggling to keep their limbs AWAY from each other, the two finally stood up and shook hands. "There. Truce is done, hand shake is done, now can YOU get out of here?! This is the girl's bathroom, for Kami-sama's sake!" Tsunami huffed.

"Fine, fine. Don't get your panties in a bunch." He said, earning a light punch in the arm.

"Pervert." She growled. "Also, you haven't told me your name yet, _taichou_."

The ANBU shrugged. "Hidan." He stated before turning to leave the public restrooms.

_Hidan, eh? Nice name…_ she thought to herself, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Damn her own eyesight, but she found the ANBU Captain attractive.

Tsunami shook her head.

'_Stop wasting your time ogling at men.'_

Just as Hidan was about to open the door, a combat-booted foot had made a break through the door, landing a spot on the ANBU's face and he came flying backwards, crashing against the tiled wall of the comfort room.

"YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR ILLEGAL DETENTION AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!"

Tsunami sweatdropped. "Uh…"

Quickly, the ANBU who had kicked his _taichou_ came dashing towards the lady and gave her a big hug. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT, MISS?!"

"AAAAAAAAAH!!! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU… YOU… ERO-ANBU!!!" quickly, she kneed him in the spot-where-the-sun-don't-shine and in reply, the ANBU screeched in pain, howling like he had been castrated over and over again.

Funny, the ANBU kept holding unto the poor girl…

Slowly, his hands went down from her arms, down to her waist, and finally…

"I wouldn't do that if I were you…"

The ANBU froze suddenly from the sound. "_T-taichou…?_"

A scream of pain echoed throughout the bathroom.

* * *

Okay, this chapter was just full of, uh, humor. Hope everyone liked it! Reviews, if you may. :3 


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